Before and After Victoria - Please read!

Hi guys,

I need to share something that happened during my trip to Orlando. Something that shook me in a deep way, and I think it will stay with me forever.

I spent a day with Flaviana and Victoria.

Flaviana and I met about 3 or 4 years ago through Instagram. She reached out to ask how I managed Clara’s social media. I ended up mentoring her a bit — she’s the one behind her daughter’s account: Victoria Decker.

Victoria is 19. She was born with autism. She’s non-verbal. She’s also a triathlon athlete competing for the USA team.

One of my dreams with the Inclusion Matters Movement is to give visibility to other talents with disabilities. Not just talk about inclusion — but help create real opportunities. Step by step, we’re building toward that. I dream that one day we’ll have an agency to give full marketing support, mentoring, and visibility for talents and their families. We’re not there yet. But this meeting reminded me why we’re doing all of this.

So here’s what happened.

We were sitting at the table — me and Flaviana talking in Portuguese (we’re both Brazilian), sharing our mom stories, life, tiredness, everything. Victoria was next to us, quiet, watching a video. She's non-verbal, and I wasn’t really paying attention to her.

Pause. I'll be vulnerable now!

Me — a mom of a non-verbal daughter, leading a movement about inclusion, an activist for people with disabilities… was not including Victoria in that moment.

I wasn’t doing it on purpose, of course. I was just being a person, chatting, enjoying the moment. But I didn’t consider her. And that broke me.

If I do this… what about everyone else who doesn’t live my reality every day?

Victoria started crying.
Flaviana asked if she wanted to “say” something. She brought her communication board — a basic alphabet board.
And Victoria started “speaking.”
Letter by letter. Slowly. In English. And she said:

“Life is good. I’m happy. But I feel lonely. I want to motivate people. I’m trying hard.”

When she wrote "Life is good", I was already broken. I thought,
"How can I even complain about anything ever again?"

Yes, maybe it sounds like one of those “inspirational porn posts”.
But it hit me like a "schiaffo in faccia". (An Italian slap in the face.)

Because she also said: "I feel lonely."

And I felt guilty. I was sitting right next to her. Talking about her. Around her.
And she was right there. Alone in the room.

How many times do I do this to Clara without even realizing it?
How many times do we — all of us — leave someone out without noticing?

I told everyone what had happened. I was amazed!
Nobody else had talked to Victoria either.
Everyone had ignored her. Not because they didn’t care.
But because she was quiet. And non-verbal.
But she was there the whole time.

When we were leaving, Davi had a chance to spend a moment with her.
He said, “You inspire me. Mom showed me your Instagram.”

She smiled. Got her board. And said:

“I try to do my best. I just want to make people see what is possible.”

Guys.

I’m crying again while writing this.

I left that day feeling like I had failed.
Because I forgot to see her.
How many others are being unseen every day?

This changed me.
This opened my eyes in a new way.

I don’t have the answers.
I don’t have a magic tool that will fix how society ignores people with disabilities.
But we do have a platform.
We do have a voice.
And we can use it to share stories like this. To wake people up.
To keep trying.

I think my life now will have a before Victoria and after Victoria.

When I got back to the hotel, I looked at her Instagram again.
Most of the day Victoria was serious.
But in the pictures where she’s doing sports, she has the biggest smile.
That’s where her voice comes alive.

And a huge shoutout to Flaviana.
She’s raising two daughters on her own, supporting Victoria as she competes, finds her way to communicate, and stays strong without giving up. No one can see the invisible battles, the days hidden to cry, the dark moments...

Please take a moment to follow Victoria.

Send a message. Let her know you see her. That she’s not alone.

This is why The Inclusion Matters Movement exists.
To open space. To give voice. To ask better questions.
To remind each other — and ourselves — to see.

Love, Love and Love
Betina